insecure mess

I'm an insecure mess
heart and mind
giving me 
the most freaking confusing signs

I let the ghosts in
once again
and they make me hurt
they make me mad
they make me regret
all the moments we didn't have

But to be really honest -
the ghosts -
they have never left
and I just didn't know
how strong they were
how loved they were
until she was "back"

and I caught myself 
wishing to be her
wishing to have what she had
wishing to be forever yours
and painfully wishing you wanted
to be forever mine
and nothing, nothing in this world 
could hurt me more

That love was supposed to be mine
That " forever" was supposed to be mine
You were supposed to be mine, all mine

Not sure I can understand
Not sure I can stand the pain
Not sure I want to.

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